I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card into her floppy
drive and pulling it out very quickly. I inquired as to what she
was doing and she said she was shopping on the Internet,
and they asked for a credit card number, so she was using
the ATM "thingy".
I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back
into itself and for the life of them could not understand why
their computer would not turn on.
1st Person "Do you know anything about this fax machine?"
2nd Person "A little. What's wrong?"
1st Person "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back
to say all she received was a cover sheet and a blank page.
I tried it again, and the same thing happened."
2nd Person "How did you load the sheet?"
1st Person "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want
anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only
the recipient would open it and read it."
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I
should have replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker.
Now I can't get into my car. "Do you think they (pointing to a
distant convenience store) would have a battery for this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno." "Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.
"No, just this remote 'thingy,'" she answered, handing it and
the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked
the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check
about the batteries...it's a long walk."
Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
Person: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support: "Well?"
Person: "How do I know when it's ready?"
Several years ago we had an intern who was none too swift.
One day he was typing and turned to a secretary and said,
"I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use
copier machine paper," she told him. With that, the intern
took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the
photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
One of our servers crashed. I was watching our new system
administrator trying to restore it. He inserted a CD and needed
to type a path name to a directory named "i386." He started
to type it and paused, asking me "Where's the key for that line
thing?" I asked what he was talking about,and he said, "You
know, that one that looks like an upside-down exclamation mark.
" I replied, "You mean the letter "i"?"
and he said, "Yeah, that's it!"
I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large new motor
home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle
was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked
like an extra in "Twister." I asked the manager what had
happened. He told me that the driver had set the cruise control,
then went in back to make a sandwich.
A friend has been doing temp work at various offices. At one
place she became the resident expert on the photocopy machine.
One day there was a big backup. She went over to help and
found that no one knew how to stop the copier from "punching"
three holes down the side of each copy. She opened the paper
tray, removed the three-hole paper and solved the problem.